Abusive Relationships - When a Loved One Is In An Abusive Relationship

By Melanie Dejonge

If you have a friend or relative in a dangerous relationship, the stress and many times guilty feelings are nearly too much. Why would they pick this person? Could I have voiced something sooner? Why couldn't I feel the true nature of their partner when I first met them? What can I be doing now?

The endless questions will eat you alive if you let them.

However, the critical point to focus on is what you can do at this point to help them get out of the situation and things you can do for the future to assist them to not get into a situation like that again.

As far as things you can do at present, the most important thing is just to let the person know that you are around to help them. Make sure not to pressure them to make the realization which you would like them to. Additionally, do not nag them to be in touch with you, to follow through on plans, or other things that they might be slipshod at doing. They are under constant stress from their violent partner, as well as probably other people in their life. You certainly need them to think of you as the sole person they can always depend on, no matter what. In this way, they will most certainly depend on you for assistance if and when they do make the emotional determination to leave their violent spouse.

A tragic fact is that humans tend to repeat unhealthy patterns in their decisions. So a frightening possibility is that you might once again see yourself watching your friend start a relationship with a violent partner.

The hope is, though, you will be more thoroughly prepared to spot the danger signals, having gone through it previously. Also hopefully, your loved one might be more likely to turn to you after you have assisted them the time before.

The important thing to remember is to respect your loved one and make sure they realize you are around to support them.

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