Are You Still in Love With Your Ex?

By Elliot Beers

Dealing with a break up is not an easy thing to do, but sometimes people can become too confident in their coping abilities. They carry on with their lives believing that they don't miss their ex, when in fact they actually do. This is a common behavior response known as distancing, and while it may temporarily ease the pain, it is not a long-term solution. Here are some signs that you are still in love with your, even if you are having trouble accepting the fact.

Questions

If you find yourself asking a lot of questions about your ex's whereabouts and activities, then it is obvious that you are still thinking about them. You want to know how they are coping with the break up and who they are spending their time with. You may even feel a sense of anxiety when you hear that they are dating someone new. All of these examples are signs that you have not moved on with your life. It is of course natural to be curious about your ex's activities, but becoming obsessed with this information is not healthy.

Adjusting Your Schedule

Making changes to your social plans or work schedule to spy on your ex is another bad sign. You might even try to plan your social appearances at events when you know your ex will be present. All of this is done in an effort to force interaction with your ex and remind them that you are still around. In some cases, you may do this without even knowing it by subliminally visiting the same restaurants and social spots you used to frequent together. Either way, adjusting your schedule with your ex in mind shows that you are still consumed with their opinion.

Using Jealousy

Do you ever talk to certain people or buy yourself flashy gifts only because you know your ex will notice? This is an indicator that you are trying to use jealousy to manipulate your ex. In your mind, you may think these actions are done to get revenge on your ex, but the reality is that you are actually trying to attract their attention. If you were truly over your relationship then you wouldn't be concerned with how your ex perceived you. By using jealous tactics you are proving that you still care about what they think.

Answer the Question

Sometimes the truth is the hardest thing to face, but by confronting your feelings you will be able to effectively deal with them. Ask your self honestly if you still love your ex. Would you accept them back in your life if they asked you for forgiveness today? Only you know the true answer to this question, but it is one that is important to ask.

Being in love with your ex is not necessarily a bad thing. It does however become a problem when you avoid the facts and try to hide from your own feelings. Recognizing that you still have strong emotions for them is the first step in recovery. From there you will need to decide if you want to get your ex back or focus your efforts on moving forward with your life.

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Elliot_Beers

Tips for How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

By Erik Michaels

Breaking up with your girlfriend isn't usually the high point of your day...in fact, it can ruin all your days for weeks or even months! However, that's only if you let it. If you can correct your wrongs and get in gear, you can get her back and go back to living happily at her side! You just have to know how!

It really doesn't have to be all that difficult, either. Girls aren't as insanely complicated as they can sometimes seem, and all the things they ask of you can usually be summed up into one simple desire: they just want to feel cared for. The reason she probably broke up with you is because she wasn't feeling cared for. To get her back, you need to correct this.

Feeling cared for is more than just being loved and knowing it. Sometimes just telling her you love her isn't enough, you have to be there for her and give her what she needs. Being cared for can include a wide range of things, including being loved, having support (both emotional and financial), having stability, and a lot of other relationship and life situations.

Whatever she wasn't getting, you weren't giving. You have to figure out what you were doing wrong, and fix it in yourself if you ever want to get her back again or even to have a chance with someone else. The first step in your road to getting your ex girlfriend back is simple reflection, sitting down with yourself and figuring out what went wrong.

Once you've come up with a list of all the things that you did in the relationship that probably contributed to her dumping you (and this may be a long list depending on your situation), the time comes to start doing something about them. All of the major things that made her unhappy enough to leave need to be fixed, or else you're never going to get her back.

This'll probably take a while, but when you do feel that you've taken care of any and all large problems, you can start to break back into a relationship with her --but take it slow! Even if she still loves you and you have your act together, she may still not exactly LIKE you, and rushing things or pushing too aggressively will lose her for good. Start off small, with a phone call seeing how she's doing. Keep things light and nonthreatening until it's clear she's comfortable with a little more.

Take baby steps until you can walk again, and with the work you've done on yourself you'll have a pretty good shot of getting her back! Keeping her after that is just a matter of keeping the changes you've made to your behavior. Rest assured that if you revert to how you were during the first (and failed) relationship, this one will go the same way. Don't win the war just so you can break the peace again yourself.

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Erik_Michaels