Rejection, Fear, and Dating

By Devlyn Steele

Life Coach Advice

Single again? As we travel through life, we often end up single. There are many reasons why. It could be the result of meeting the wrong person, death, cheating, lies, divorce, location, goals, and more. Losing a relationship impacts us in many ways. It can be very painful, or it can be very refreshing, or anywhere in-between. No matter what the cause or the degree of pain, there is one truth we all share: We don’t want to end up alone. We want to find companionship.

In order to get into a new relationship, we have to be willing to meet and go out with people. It’s our own fear, however, that often gets in the way.

? We fear getting rejected. ? We fear having a bad time. ? We fear getting hurt. ? We fear having to reject someone else.

All these fears are valid yet easily overcome. If someone rejects you, it only means that that person feels you are not right for them. Believe me, there is someone else who would love to be with you. You have to accept rejection. It is only through trying do we get to the right person.

Many dates and relationships don’t work out. You may look back and think of it as a bad time. It is all right to have a bad time. Only through bad dates do we get to the good dates. It is through our bad relationships that we have the opportunity to learn more about ourselves and what we want, to then approach relationships with more knowledge to succeed.

No one wants to get hurt but if we do not dare to fall in love and get hurt, we cannot be in love. Getting hurt is part of the process. We do get through it and the pain does go away. The best part is there is new love waiting for you.

You may also be fearful of rejecting someone. The truth is no one is obligated to stay with someone who isn’t right for them. Rejection is part of the dating and relationship process.

Change how you look at rejection and see it as a favor. When you reject someone you are releasing him or her to go find someone who will truly appreciate that person. Look at it that way also when someone rejects you. After all, do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t want you? It’s better to be free to find someone who actually wants to be with you.

Can you predict the future? I can’t. In fact, most of us don’t think we can. Yet we continue to believe in self-limiting thoughts about the future. We believe so firmly in these thoughts we allow them to stop us from moving forward and realizing opportunities.

Instead of predicting pain, I can predict for you that if you embrace the dating process instead of watching life pass you by, you will have both good and bad times. I can also predict that these good and bad times will lead you to even better times.

Embrace the journey and release your fear.

About Tools To Life Developed by Life Coach Devlyn Steele, Tools To Life is a revolution in self- development, a 77-day program in which thousands have implemented successful changes in their lives. Devlyn Steele is a public consultant, a private counselor, a radio host and an author. He has hosted his own radio show, "Tools To Life" and has been a guest on over 150 various shows. For more information, visit: http://www.lifecoachadvice.com/

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Getting Back Together with Your Ex?

By Alison Sardelli

Many relationships end leaving one or both people in them wondering what they might have done differently. After enough time has passed some people no longer wonder about what went wrong, but simply dwell on all of the parts of the person they miss. For those that made the decision to end it, or were involved in a mutual breakup: Having second thoughts about deciding to end your relationship are natural and might lead you to wonder what rekindling the old flame could be like BUT: Does this make your Ex the right person? Are you simply lonely and missing what you once had? If someone great had come along, would you still be missing your Ex? Before you begin hitting the online flower market or start sacrificing your pride on the altar of silly, public love songs; perhaps you should take a few minutes to weigh the choices you once made when deciding to end the relationship.

What caused the breakup? What were the problems you tried to communicate that went unnoticed or dismissed? Have any of those reasons changed?

Who is your Ex now? How well do you know the person your Ex has become? Are you chasing a ghost? Or perhaps is the person you keep fantasying about being with some warped version of the person you remember?

What’s Different? Do you know that if you were to begin a new relationship with your Ex that the exact same issues wouldn’t resurface?

Are you afraid of being alone? Many people begin to feel that an old flame might be the cure for their loneliness simply because that person knew them well. A person who is familiar can be very comforting, even if you knew when you ended it that the person was not the right one for you.

Pedestal Effect: After enough time has passed many people idolize their old relationships and tend to forget the flaws; in some cases perhaps you simply worked out an issue that was a problem that only you could solve, which might allow for a successful second try; however, in many cases those same flaws still exist in your Ex and after the second round of the honey-moon phase passes, you’ll be right back where you started.

Something old and something new: Another common problem is comparing an Ex to a new partner who may have flaws that your Ex did not. Perhaps in this case it is that you didn’t know what you had until it was compared to someone awful, or are you simply seeking to see the flaws in any person you enter into a relationship with?

For those who didn’t want the breakup to happen: Dangerous ground awaits such people who are often seen as needy and insecure. The first and perhaps most important question you must put to yourself is: Why did your Ex breakup with you and do you agree with the reasons they gave for doing it? Are you sure the relationship was a healthy one for you? Are the issues that were a problem in the past resolved? If you don’t understand why the breakup happened in the first place, how can you hope to avoid a second, even if your Ex takes you back?

The Need to Succeed: For some people getting back together with a person who chose to leave you isn’t really about the relationship at all; the desire not to fail is both instinctual and a large part of what society teaches us to practice. Try to keep in mind that two people being incompatible enough to end a relationship is not necessarily the result of failure on either person’s part.

Rejection Complex: After being turned out of a relationship people often take a hit to the ego, some believe that the only way to renew lost confidence is to win the person back; through this they feel that their value has been reinstated, though it often has little to do with wanting the missing person back in their life.

Glutton for Punishment: Those who know that a past relationship was destructive, whether emotionally, financially or physically, but still seek to renew it are often locked into a terrible pattern of self-loathing. If the people who love you all advice against reuniting with an Ex and you trust their judgment, take their advice.

If after reviewing all of the reasons not to pursue an Ex you still find that the decision is a sound one it might be that those problems from the past can be fixed and this time the relationship could be a success. How now do you proceed in winning back the heart of the one you love?

Mending Fences: Show your Ex that the reasons for ending it in the past are no longer a problem, not just in words but in actions; prove to that person that you can and have changed and in doing so you will win back a great deal of their interest. By showing your Ex that you are capable of solving those problems from the past you accomplish two goals: One: When one person has enough influence over another they feel special and important to that person; Two: If a person has both the insight and the will to change for the better it leads one to believe they can compromise not only on current issues but problems that may arise in the future.

A Little Gloss and Paint: Physical appearance might not be the corner stone of a good relationship but effort sure is! Show your Ex that you seek to impress them by working on the way you look; getting in shape, changing a hair style or even buying some new cloths can stimulate a brand new attraction in an old or broken relationship. Particularly focusing on a few aspects of your appearance that you know your partner disliked in the past is a good place to start.

Stubborn Goat: Were there places your Ex wanted to visits that you refused to accompany them on? Activities that you refused to take part in? Show your Ex that you are willing to take that extra step to make them happy by making a few sacrifices in their honor.

New Date Shuffle: Like it or not, many people breakup simply because they enjoy the beginning stages of a relationship; while it may not be easy to incorporate the same level of romance and excitant after a long period of time, starting over gives you an opportunity to romance and entice your Ex all over again. Showing the person you seek to build a life with what you have to offer and what they’ve been missing while you’ve been away.

A Little Jealousy: Be careful with this method as it can easily do damage to your chances if not handled with caution! Keeping in mind that it comes with many warning labels, jealousy can be an effective tool in getting the attention of an Ex. When a person notices that others desire what they once had and no longer have, certain feelings tend to arise: curiosity about what others might find attractive that they did not; an interest in any changes that may have taken place in their absence which would have others taking notice; even good old fashion territorial instincts which kick in over a person that they never thought they’d have to compete for can be useful.

In the end, only you can decide how valuable the loss of that person was and how important is it to get them back? If the memory haunts you inexplicably, perhaps the only way to heal is to move on. Or, if you decide that the person is worth perusing, remember that an illusion of who you really are can only last so long. Stick to being as honest; don’t pretend to change, make the changes if you feel they are for the better and remember, that once that person loved you as much as you may now love them, if you are willing to work for their affection and to show them how much you feel for them, anything is possible.

Written by Katt Chat for Village Matchmaker's Online dating reviews. Kattchat, your unofficial online dating and relationship advisor.

Many years of advice has enabled Alison (Katt) to diagnose specific problems and offer solutions on the subjects of dating and relationships. Visit http://www.villagematchmaker.com to read about helpful tips and submit questions of your own.

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Learn How A Lousy Marriage Is Bad For Hearts

By Francis Githinji

Marriage is a good social institution which can either save your life or deny you the same life. Living together as a couple, with your spouse, some body you met when you were an adult can be quite challenging. It calls for a lot of wisdom as well as a lot of God's grace and mercy. A non-fulfilling bad marriage can cost you your health according to research carried out recently. Frankly speaking a lousy marriage is bad for hearts. Marital chaos and other horrible personal relationships can increase your risk for heart disease. All these unhealthy relationships boil down to stress which greatly contributes to unhealthy physical conditions. You might have good relationships with friends and relatives but if your partner is stressful your health is still at stake.

Being single and maintaining few close relationship is also associated with numerous health problems. The recent research concentrated on examining the quality of marriage and other crucial relationships. This is because you can be married and miserable. A lousy marriage is bad for hearts. This warns people to be more keen while choosing a spouse to spend the rest of their lives with. Tests done at university college in London are being done to biologically prove that bad marriage victims have raised levels of stress hormones and inflammation which lead to heart diseases. Researchers also found that wives who kept quiet during marital fights had an elevated risk of suffering from health problems compared with wives who expressed their feelings during marital arguments. It was also revealed that men did not care much about the marital woes therefore they suffered less heart problems compared to women. By the way married men were found to be more comfortable than single men. The marriage might be as hot as hell but they will still hang in there comfortably.

The research to show that lousy marriage is bad for hearts is carried out under psychosomatic medicine. Participants voluntarily filled out questionnaires which ask them to rate their personal confidant in different measures. This includes a question about how often the close person causes stress, worries or any problem. Still among the questions was whether they found it easy to confide in that person or he/she made them feel worse. The participants with the highest number of negative scores appeared to have the highest risk of heart problems taking to account other factors associated with the problem such as smoking, obesity and high blood pressure. This shows that bad social relationships have a bad health impact. It is wise to seek therapy if you have negative, troubled relationship in order to avoid heart attack.

It is evident that being divorced could also pose a health risk so ending the bad marriage might not be the solution. The solution lies in discussing the issue and learning to live with each other. If you take time to appreciate your partner you will possibly find out that your strength is his weakness and your weakness is his strength. That way you compliment each other. Try not to get stressed over his shortcomings but learn to fill in the gap. It really works. Try all these to put heart problems at bay. A lousy marriage is bad for hearts but it is bad if you want it to be.

Francis K. Githinji Is A Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project lousy Marriage Is Bad For Hearts Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At lousy Marriage Is Bad For Hearts.

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Friendship

By Sherry Khan

Friendship for many, to include scholarly individuals, is actually some sort of an informal category without specific limitations or boundaries. Like when you say a person is a friend, you do not say that he is your friend in school, or he is your friend in the office or a friend in any category of undertaking. Usually, friendship would indicate mutual relationship that you give and take for each other with a time span that will always depend on each party concerned. The degree of friendship would usually be dependent on the circumstances that resulted to such relationship. The degree of friendship with a classmate at school will be different than the degree of friendship with a neighbor friend. Even in work, the ties of friendship a person has with his co-employees in an office work will be different from the ties of friendship between soldiers. In most cases, the degree of dependency among one another in a particular undertaking, would measure the degree of friendship among them.

Friendship for that matter takes on many forms like casual friends whom you may consider already as friends even when you have just meet them once, twice or thrice in a gathering, long time friends, people you have known since you were young like your neighbors, and best friends like your close in barkadas or groups that you are always with and shares with you whatever they have and you, whatever you have, in return. These sharing between best of friends are not only limited to material things but also would include spiritual and emotional sharing like keeping and advising your friends in keeping up with their faith and other emotional problems that they have. These sharing of all aspects of your daily life, sometimes you use friendship sms text messages, lovely friendship sms that will cause to deepen the friendship between your groups of friends.

There are, however, a lot of people who uses friendship as a tool for self advantage. The sad thing about these kinds of people would be the fact that once they have gained their purpose because of the friendship that they were able to establish they just as suddenly junk the friends that helped them in the first place. These people are those that can be considered as friendship for advantage gals and guys. There are also those who will only make friends with people who share with them their passion. These people are those that we can categorize as people who look for selective friendship. People in this category can be persons who are into different hobbies or undertakings that they value so much that once they know you have the same kind of aspiration would then try to consider you as a friend in such kind of an undertaking. For example, a person with a passion for horses can easily make friends with a person in the horse breeding business. And if you are a SCUBA enthusiast, you can make friends easily with an underwater photographer once you chanced to meet each other.

These kinds of friendship actually, are not only related to hobbies like playing with your mobile phone, sending sms messages, sharing love text and other special skills that a person has to make friends with other persons sharing with him interest in the same field of endeavor. These can also be true to even negative habits such as drinking, gambling and womanizing. This is precisely why we have this saying, "Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are."

Sherry Khan working on website Love sms, brithday sms text messages and providing free articles on different issues relating to mobile phones. For more information visit SMS Ringo free ringtone collection

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The Worst Dating Mistakes Ever

By Francis Githinji

Sometimes they happen unconsciously or knowingly and they are the worst dating mistakes. They can make a potential mate to take flight at the earliest opportunity. The tongue is lethal, opening your heart too soon gives you away as you give too much personal information and worst of all too soon. The best policy has always been honesty, however honesty given in excess especially as far as personal information is concerned spoils a date. Possible connections are also spoiled. It leaves both of you feeling awkward when you are too fast in letting the cat out of the bag through too much information. Both parties feel the urgency to leave the scene because of the unease that has settled in. Personal information that is deep is best kept under lock and key to allow the other person a time span of building a relationship that is meaningful to you.

Failing to understand and take people for who they are and instead seeing them for whom you actually wanted them to be. Maybe it has ever happened to you. You start dating someone and you start thinking he or she would be perfect if only she or he got their act and life together, made more money, did away with addiction, old relationships, parents and the list goes on and on. One of the worst dating mistakes is attempting to change a person's image into an image that suits your idea of perfection. It never ends well. No one needs you to be an agent of change. A partner who is willing to change will be the one to initiate the change and tell you the areas they are working on. But this happens once you are settled in a relationship that is full of love and fulfillment. Loving people as they are is usually better.

In order for your life to be complete and happy, you only need to be in a relationship. It is among the worst dating mistakes committed by majority of people who are single. Hundreds of single people are searching far and wide for a relationship. It is a general feeling among the singles who believe a fulfilling and happy life is only possible within the precincts of a relationship. In the meantime, they are denying themselves the happiness and fulfillment of life as it escapes and away it slips. As a young person, learn to love yourself and create a life that is true and fulfilling, that is the only way you will be able to attract love. Once inside a loving relationship, it will come to your realization that: though love is very important, it isn't the one item that will complete you, satisfy you or fulfill you.

Taking a person wrongly for being who they were from the beginning. It is one of the many dating mistakes. Many people have been into this one. Dating starts on a high note and money is not important then. But if the person later on does not manage to raise or have enough money you are very angry with them. You have got down into a relationship, invested heavily emotionally in it only for the person to tell you he or she is not interested in a relationship that is committing, the person is only interested in dating.

Francis K. Githinji Is A Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Dating Mistakes Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Dating Mistakes.

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Online dating: the most important step – the first letter.

By Oksana Boichenko

So as you know, online dating usually based on exchanging letters. So what you gonna do if you seem to find the Russian bride of your dream? How will you make her interested in you? I want to say you – if you want to grab someone's attention, you should write a first letter, a perfect first letter. There are some key points you should keep in mind while writing a letter. So that's what I'm going to tell you.

At the very beginning I should tell you that the first letter makes the first impression that will most certainly affect your future correspondence. So, you should make your first letter positive, bright and exciting.

As I've witnessed a lot of types of correspondence and got the full image of how it should be, I'll give you my own tips. And I wish you success!

Instructions:

• Tip # 1: Be friendly and polite. It's utter important to show respect to the lady, so you should use friendly and polite words in your letter. I also don't advise you to use nicknames and phrases like: "Hey baby" or "My hot girl" in your very first introductory letter, it's better to make a pleasant compliment instead. Don't worry if you really like using these words you can do it a bit later. Just wait till the lady opens up for you.

• Tip # 2: Keep your tone upbeat. Your letter should reflect your great mood and optimism. If you tell her about your difficulties, problems and complaints in your very first letter, it will definitely scare any girl. Show her that you are a happy and cheerful person. You should be positive is like a magnet. This is the example how one man began his letter: "To be quite honest, I have been putting this off as long as possible. I have some friends who applied to dating web-sites and have had some awful experience." This begs to ask, "what are you doing here?" And compare that with this introductory letter: "I've heard online dating is a great way to meet awesome people and that's why I want to meet you." Which one of these letter intros is more attractive? The one who wants to date "losers" or the one that wants to date "winners"? Psychologically everyone wants to be a winner. Consequently in your very first letter, avoid everything negative - be positive.

• Tip # 3: Share information: You can share the information about yourself that you think others will find interesting. Check her profile, find out about her interests. It will be great if she finds out that you have so much in common.

• Tip # 4: Tell the person who you are and what you are about. Don't speak about your disadvantages in your introduction letter. In the contrary you should tell only positive things about yourself, but it's very important to know where to stop, otherwise your story will look like a boasting and you won't get good results. Here are some phrases that will help you to describe you in a best way:

- My best friend describes me as...
- I'm happiest when I'm...
- Here's what you'd find if you looked around my place...
- A great day in my life would include...
- The last great book I read was...
- The last great movie I saw in a cinema was...
- My favorite season is...
- The color I wear most is...
- If you asked me what I'm wearing, I'd say...
- My favorite on-screen love scene is...
- The music I like most is...
- This morning in my car I was listening to...
- Last Saturday night I...
- The last vacation I went on was...
- The most adventurous thing I've ever done was...
- I'm happiest when I'm with someone who...

• Tip # 5: Include information about your age, education and career. According to statistics about 80% of ladies are mostly interested in these three things.

• Tip # 6: You can tell about pets, favourite books, hobbies, children or anything else that might reveal a shared interest with in your new friend.

• Tip # 7: Avoid talking about controversial topics. Not in a first letter. Debates and argues can be a very interesting thing to share in your letters, but only if you've already become closer to each other.

• Tip # 8: Take care not to overwhelm the reader with too much information. Revealing a little bit at a time will pique the reader's interest. Remember that there must be a little secret not only in a lady but in a man as well. You'll reach great results if you make your lady wait for the next chapter of your story impatiently.

• Tip # 9: Ask her questions so she can respond. Don't speak just about yourself in your letter. If you do, your letter won't help you at all. You should remember that it's very important to have a dialog instead of monologue. So you should ask question and answer hers in return.

• Tip # 10: Let your personality show by your choice of words and the descriptions you use. Be descriptive – tell about the things the inspire you, excite you etc.

Tips & Warnings.

• Remember not to share too much too soon. You should wait until she knows you before you reveal your family secrets and problems.

• Use careful judgment when deciding how much information to share with a stranger. You should be always careful when it comes to revealing personal information.

So, that will do for the tips. I hope they'll be useful for you and you find your Russian bride and conquer her by your sweet and kind letters!

Oksana Boichenko, OksanaLove, Inc., http://www.oksanalove.com The matchmaker with 12 years of experience in the online dating business. You can find your second half – just visit our dating site and meet your Russian bride among the thousands of beautiful Russian women.

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How to Get an Ex Back When You Messed Up

By Teecee Go

When you messed yourself up, there’s no use pretending that you did not. When you mess up, you tend to involve a lot of people in your life. Usually, your loved ones suffer the most because of your own mistakes and shortcomings. Sometimes because of your failure, you might lose your girlfriend or your boyfriend. If you recently did, then perhaps the burning question in your mind right now is how to get an ex back when you messed up?

First and foremost, accept in yourself that you messed it up and that you treated your beloved badly. In this regard, your loved one is justified for leaving you and breaking up with you. Chances are, however, there is still a fairly good chance for you to get back together if you are willing to change and improve for the better.

If your partner was attracted to you before when you were still alright, then you can certainly do something to bring the attraction back. This is how to get an ex back when you messed up.

You should leave her alone. This may sound as a shock to some. Yet, it is true. Leave your ex alone for a time. Most probably, your ex is still thinking about you and pondering if she made the right decision. Her emotions may be mixed. Your own emotions too may be mixed. If you persist, you might just make the situation worse and explosive. For now, leave her alone.

You do not leave her alone for nothing. Use this time to show her that you are strong. How do you do this? Simple, do not beg or plead for her to come back. If you have to cry, do not show it to her. It is perfectly alright to cry. It does not make you less a man. Instead, it is a good way for you to release your painful emotions. Try going out with friends or go out on dates, why not? This would show that you are in control of yourself and your emotions.

When you feel that your emotions are stable again and you want your ex back, then contact her. It might be a little awkward at first but stick to it. You did mess up but now you are a changed individual. When you approach your ex, you should convey that message. When you do, that becomes an irresistible invitation to your ex to get back with you.

Teecee Go writes and contributes article focusing on helping people save their marriage and anyone treasure relationship dearer. Find reviews, products and free information on how to get your ex or love one back by visiting http://www.BreakupCures.com To learn how this article can help you, visit http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUp.com Get FREE Relationship Advice from author TW (T Dub) Jackson and read feedback/stories from hundreds of satisfied readers from all over the world.

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Saving a Broken Relationship

By Ken Dinino

Living in a broken relationship is hard. Trying to mend a broken relationship is even harder if you don' t know what is wrong with the relationship. There are many ways you could work on this type of relationship. Deciding how much you and your partner are willing to put into fixing it is the first step. If one of you is not serious or willing to work on is then it won't work. Also if one of you is working more then the other it may not work either.

Below are a few tips to help you one your journey:

Make a list: First you want to develop a group of lists. Lists on your supports and your partners supports. These will be important as you go through your tough times. You and your partner will need someone to talk to that will give you an objective outside opinion of the situations.

Lists of organizations that you can use for support. Some organizations specialize in assisting couples in relationship concerns. There are also many workshops that help couples work through their issues or help them communicate better with each other.

Lists of issues both you and your partner are facing. Being honest with yourself and them will help the issues become solved much faster. Writing everything down at this time is important. Quite often it takes time to get through to the core of the problem.

Seeking counseling: Couples and individual counseling can help you get to the bottom of the issues at hand that are causing the problems. It will give you an outside and objective opinion on what needs to be worked out. Be prepared because you are likely to hear somethings you might not want to hear but need to know.

In extreme cases:

Anger management: classes maybe needed to help you or your partner cope with stress and anger in everyday life.

Control Issues: Going to some classes if you are faced with some controlling issues maybe needed as well. Just because these classes are needed doesn't mean you are a bad person it simply means because of your experiences you may need special attention to have a healthy relationship. The over all goal of these classes are to teach you to be a healthy person and have healthy relationships with others.

In the end it is up to you to save your relationships. You and your partner are the only ones who can determine if it is worth salvaging. Though it maybe broken now with the right help and support you can make it work. Sometimes outside help will assist you in seeing the things you can not being in the relationship. Learning how to be healthy and have healthy relationships will also help you in future relationships in your life. Ultimately it is up to you!

Ken Dinino, helps you fix your broken relationship or get over your ex when you visit: http://starbana.makingup.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=ART

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Dating and Sex: Good Advice about Sex on Dates

By Gabriel L

To have or not to have, that's the big question surrounding sex on dates. Will you still be respected in the morning if you agree to sex on a first date? Will you still have a partner if you still haven't agreed to have sex and you've now been dating for a month? When is the right time, and what can you expect from your partner?

Sex is all about intimacy and trust between you and your partner, no-one else. Only you know when you're ready to take this step. Listen to your inner voice, is it telling you to hold back because of some insecurity issue, or is it telling you to ignore the conventions that say you shouldn't have sex in the first three dates or whatever? That voice is the real proclaimer of disrespect the next morning because if you make the wrong choice, that's the one you're going to hear playing regrets for what you did, or didn't do, the previous night with your date!

Once you know you're ready, you need to consider your partner. Do you think they're ready? If you've been on at least two dates, or you're on your second date, then you probably have some idea from their body language if they want to get closer to you. It could by physically touching you whenever they get the chance, or just openly flirting with you in a suggestive but funny way so that they are masking their wants in humor perhaps in fear of your reaction. If you're ready to take the plunge, use the same tactics back at your date so that they get the message that you're game if they are.

If you're more of a straight talker, you could set ground rules from the beginning of the first date so that your partner is in no doubt about what's going to happen – or not happen, and if it's not, some kind of idea of when it might! This may seem a bit forward, and could even shock your partner, but if it's something that is going to stop you being yourself on the date because you are unsure of your date's expectations or reaction to your views on sex and dating, then it's best to clear the air. You risk the chance of your partner disappearing as soon as they can if you tell them something they don't want to hear, but as bad as that feels, it would be worse later in the evening when they found that things weren't going to work out as they'd anticipated they would!

Whenever you decide that the time is right for you, always insist on protected sex. Even if you think you know the person you're dating, and they swear that they've never been with anyone who had any kind of disease, you can never be 100% sure unless they've been monogamous with you for a number of years!

Sex is supposed to be fun and relaxed. It's supposed to deepen a relationship. But it has to be at a time that feels right to you. Don't do it because you feel it's expected, or because you feel that you should. Don't do it if your partner is holding back and unsure. Do it because you both want to because that's when the time is right.

Gabriel L is a life coach who specializes in helping singles and couples to discover their problems and how to improve their love life. He is also an expert in internet dating strategies and methods. He has set up a website at www.OnlineDatingCode.com with loads of love and dating articles.

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Have The Dating Rules Changed? - Eight Dating Don'ts

By Francis K. Githinji

Dating rules confuse a lot of people especially since the period women started going to Geneva. Men do not know exactly what is expected of them. In fear of offending their lovers, they do not follow the conventional dating rules. To put this problem to rest for once and for all i thought of reminding you the dating don'ts. It puts confusion in many singles mind. May be as a woman you do not know what to complain about without looking foolish and a traditionalist. Do you have a problem if he opens the car door for you? Do you have a problem if she asks you out? At the end of the day everyone wants to be treated right. Among the dating don'ts is to avoid distractions at all costs. Switch off your cell phone and keep your eyes from wandering all the time. Is this too much to ask? Some people are always glued to their phones, it becomes irritating. Scrolling through your phone during a date sends the message that you are disinterested. Incoming calls forces you leave what you were saying to answer the calls. Another dating don't is to turn your date into a therapy session. It is not your time to lament about your quarrelsome mother or your nagging ex-girlfriend. You did not come to release your pain during your first date. Keep off all those topics that will send the message that are in emotional casualty.

Do not pretend to be Mr. Or Miss perfect. It sucks like hell. You do not have to pretend that you were born and bred in church, attended the best schools and work in a top rate company. Reality and honesty will work for you in more than one ways. Nobody is perfect. It is a dating don't to play a nice girl or a nice guy by agreeing to everything your date says. Stand on your ground. It is about learning each other. Intellectual arguments should be encouraged but whatever you say do not insult your date's intelligence. Do not show any uncouth behavior. By this i mean uninvited physical advances. If chemistry works right for you, you can hold hands or kiss but do not false it. First dates are very sensitive.

Among the dating don'ts is a lot of alcohol. Do not take alcohol excessively. People have never known that you can't date and drink. If you have to you should stick to not more than two beers or glasses of wine. Alcohol impairs the way of thinking. Do not get afraid of terminating the date early. If for one reason or another you do not enjoy the date or you are uncomfortable, end the date. You can find better things to do with your time. Women shy away from proposing a date. Men think that women who approach them are confident and attractive. Ask him to accompany you for a concert or a movie. This is a sure way of asking for a date indirectly.

Francis K. Githinji Is A Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Dating Don'ts Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Dating Don'ts.

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How To Enhance Your long Distance Relationship Step By Step

By Francis K. Githinji

Do long distance relationships work or is it just a waste of time? There are people who find love far and wide. They are not restricted in any way by geographical boundaries. They are exploring looking for love through the chat rooms and dating sites on the Internet. The modern technology has made long distance relationship a success and even better than a normal relationship. The sophistication of such a relationship is one to be admired. Many are of the idea that their love can get greater than geography; that their true mates are far away in a different country, state or even continent. How do you make a long distance relationship work?

You might be physically apart but your hearts are so much together. To make your long distance relationship work, agree on how often you will keep in touch. You will agree with me that communication is the number one ingredient to a relationship that works. You can be together but you have to be forced to talk. It doesn't matter where you are geographically as long as you communicate. For instance you can agree to be calling each other at night either two or three times. You can as well send several e-mails a day. Nowadays people are mostly using e-mail and phones to kill distance but it would be a special treat to drop a hand written letter at your lovers home. It gives them butterflies and a feeling that you are closer.

When you are discussing the contacts issue, discuss about your physical visits. Who should visit who first and how often. This will clear the course your long distance relationship will be taking. What do you talk about in your conversations? Do you continuously whine about how much you love and miss each other? Considerable content of this is okay but do not dwell on it day in day out. Let your long distance relationship partner feel part of your life by telling him/her your every day experiences. Tell them about your nagging neighbor, your experience with the bad smelling guy you sat next to in the bus and may be an unexpected car puncture.

You should not wait until the time you will physically come together. You should practice phone sex to keep each other faithful and trusted. Spice up your feelings and enjoy your time apart by having sex the fantasizing way. The brain is the greatest sex organ and you have it with you.

Make it happen by the descriptions of your love making through the small gadget. Send to each other dirty stories or lyrics via e-mail or put it in phone lines. Provided you do not print them you are still safe. Finally, to enhance long distance relationship, you should stay active in your social life. Meet your other friends and have fun. The last thing you want is to be home so alone and bored. This will make you resent your partner for being so far away from you.

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Long Distance Relationship Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Long Distance Relationship

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Send Out Positive Frequencies When Dating

By Terry Detty

It has been said that the Law of Attraction can manifest itself in matters of wealth, health, and happiness. Part of the happiness is having fulfilling relationships. These can be romantic love relationships or familial relationships or simple friendships. The Law of Attraction affects them all.

Whether you are trying to put the Law of Attraction to use in your life or not, it is always at work. You are always putting out vibrations into the universe. They are always collecting with like energies and coming back to you.

The difference when you deliberately use the Law of Attraction is that you focus on the things you want. Then, these positive things return to you. What you give your attention to is what becomes important in your life.

Once something becomes important to you, you will develop an excitement about it. That excitement will turn into a power that is greater than any you can drum up by simply repeating words about what you want. The Law of Attraction works in relationships as well as it does in anything else.

By deliberately using the Law of Attraction, you can find that special person you are looking for. One step is to determine what it is you want from a mate. Make a list. Write down strengths you would like the person to have. Write down joys you would like to share.

Once you have a more concrete idea of what you want, the universe will bring you to your mate through the Law of Attraction. This will happen through matching of frequencies. You send out the frequency of what you want. That vibration goes out and collects with other frequencies like it. In other words, it matches.

When your frequency is vibrating in concert with another frequency, it will only be a matter of time before you meet someone. The Law of Attraction will be at work. At this point, you should follow your hunches. If you have the urge to do something on a different schedule than usual, then do it. This may be how you find your mate.

Just let the Law of Attraction do its work. Continue to reaffirm in your mind the fact that the person you are looking for exists. Believe that you will find that person. Draw your attention and excitement to the subject. Things will happen.

Other relationships work on the theory of matching as well. You put out energy towards a person in your life. That energy can be for or against them. Whatever energy you send them will match whatever energy in them that is like that frequency. You will get the result you expect. This is the Law of Attraction.

If you are feeling down, the Law of Attraction will supply you with a companion in despair. As the two of you spiral down, you will be better off if you decide to let the Law of Attraction work for you instead of against you. Find ways that your frequencies can vibrate in harmony in a positive way. This will strengthen and lengthen friendships like nothing else.

Your relationships can develop into more than they ever were before. Your friendships can be deeper. You can live in harmony with your relatives. Your love interests can become life-long partners. The Law of Attraction can make it all come true.

Terry Detty finds Free Online Dating Service and Jackson TN Free Online Dating Service his passion. In addition to marketing, he enjoys reading and occasionally goes out for a short walk. His latest interest is a new Johnson City TN Free Online Dating Service he's been using.

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What to Expect When Moving In Together As a Couple

By Brian Waspi

When two individuals decide to move in together there is a lot of time and planning which often has to go into a move such as this one. Not only does the couple need to decide where they are going to live but how they are going to set up their new home. The following will highlight some considerations the couple needs to make with regard to setting up the home and how they can do so in the easiest way possible.

Eliminate Unnecessary Individual Furnishings Prior to the Move

The first step that couples should take prior to moving in together is to eliminate any and all furnishings that they know will not be needed in the new home. Since individuals will often have different styles of furniture from one another, it is important to decide which items will be kept and which will be eliminated. For example, if the new apartment only has one bedroom, there is no need for two king size beds in the home and therefore one of these items can be donated or sold.

Decide on a Set Style for the Overall Home

It is also a good idea to determine what style the couple wishes to decorate their home in. This will help to determine which furnishings to keep or buy and make it easier to set up the new home by having one set style to go with. It is best to discuss this issue with one another and come to a decision so that both individuals are happy with the final selection as the new home should reflect the styles of both individuals.

Make a Sketch of the Home

One of the best ways to figure out what furniture items will be placed where within the home is to make a sketch of the interior of the home. Take note of what furniture pieces each individual currently owns and which ones will be kept. Try to sketch out where all of the furniture will go. This way you can see what space you have left within the home and which furnishings you may want to purchase in order to complete the overall look of the interior.

Consider Picking a Theme for the Home or Some of the Rooms

A fun way to decorate the home is to have a set theme in mind whether it be for the entire house or apartment or simply one or two rooms in the home. An agreed upon theme allows the couple to set something up which is unique to their individual tastes and have fun while putting it all together. The theme can be a favorite sports team or island-inspired theme, for example.

Shopping for the Furnishings

Once the couple has agreed upon what furniture they wish to keep and what theme they want to go with, the next step to setting up the new residence is shopping for the furniture pieces. Before setting out for the store, the couple should determine what budget they are going to stick with when it comes to purchasing the items and determine how best to buy all that they need while staying within that set budget. If the individuals know exactly what type of items they want to buy, a great way to save money on furniture purchases and other home accent pieces is to buy items through online retailers. Many online shops will offer web-only specials which allow the individuals to get a great deal on their online purchases. If buying heavy furniture items, it is a wise idea to choose retailers which offer free shipping so that shipping costs will remain low if not nonexistent.

Set Up the Home

The final step is placing all of the items within the home in their proper locations. Since the couple most likely will have sketched out where they want everything to go, this final part of the process is quite simple. The end result will be a tasteful new home setting for the couple to enjoy together.

Remember, if help is needed paying for some of those big-ticket items www.MyDreamHomeRegistry.com was created for just that purpose. It’s the gift registry for everything home.

My Dream Home Registry is an alternative gift registry centered on the home. Articles are submitted as part of our quest to distribute unbiased information about home design and remodel. Visit us on the web at www.mydreamhomeregistry.com for more information

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How to Get a Girl to Like You - Here Are The Secrets You Have Been Desperately Looking For

By Pushpa Pal Singh

Women are attracted to certain traits in men which are rare to find according to several girls out there. These traits are not anything to do with what a person looks like or his financial condition but it's more related to a person's inner world than the outer world. You see you might have the stunning looks with a lot of money but girls are not looking for these things when it comes to long term relationships. They want much more than just money or looks. Read on to discover some of the most mind blowing secrets on how to get a girl to like you instantly...

Be proud of the way you are- Do you know that women can smell a loser from miles away? Most guys don't seem to have a sense of pride about themselves. No human being is perfect but this does not mean that you have to walk around with a loser like attitude which most guys out there carry. You see in order to really get a girl to like you, you need to act as if you are comfortable being the way you are and truly be proud of yourself even if you don't have anything special to offer.

Never try to please them- Do you know when you try the hardest to please a girl you are almost pushing her away? You see when a girl senses that you are trying hard she instantly knows that you want her attention and that very moment she starts playing too hard to get. Never try to please them rather try to act as if you don't even need there attention and you will get what you want from them.

Don't act according to their comfort- Some guys tend to have this strange habit of making the girl comfortable and trying to make her as comfortable as possible. You see when a girl witnesses that you are treating her like a queen she would instantly start giving you the slave treatment. Try to make her work for your attention instead of trying to make her comfortable in your company.

What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but men absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover some of the most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know- 9 Most Shocking Secrets Women don't want men to know

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Deadly Mistakes Men Make with Women - You Better Know These Before It's Too Late

By Pushpa Pal Singh

Some men get to date the hottest women out there while others just keep shooting in the dark or trying to get any girl possible out there. Why is it that some men have the power to choose when it comes to women while others keep trying or fail constantly with women? You see there is a large difference between the guys who get hot women and the guys who get no women at all. There are several deadly mistakes men make when it comes to women which spoils all their chances of scoring a date. Read on to discover what these mistakes are and how to avoid them...

Being too nervous around women- Do you know that nervousness is a sign of a low self esteem which eventually means low self confidence. You see confidence is one thing every woman demands and if a guy is low on self confidence women automatically assume that this guy is weak and maybe not even good enough.

Being obsessed with her- Now this is another mistake several men make with women. You see hot women are always stalked by several males out there but the problem is that such women can't stand men who are obsessed with them. You see when you want them the most that's the time when you push them away the most as well. Therefore try to control your emotions.

Being desperate and miserable- Desperation is a kind of a disease several men out there are suffering from and this is the reason why they never end up getting the kind of women they desire. You see desperation means not being good or worthy enough. You see when you are desperate women look at you as if you lack something in your personality due to which you are not getting the kind of women you desire and this is the reason why you will automatically become a guy girls cant stand.

What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but men absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover some of the most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know- 9 Most Shocking Secrets Women don't want men to know

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How to Attract & Create a Lasting Relationship With the Kind of Person You've Always Wanted

By Pushpa Pal Singh

How often do we complain in life that we never find the right person or the one we are looking for is already taken? You see the thing is that what you are looking for is right there but you are not looking hard enough. And at the same time when we do find the right person we are not able to maintain the relationship in the long term and than we start thinking about where we went wrong. Read on to discover some of the most stunning secrets on how to create a lasting relationship with the kind of person you have always wanted...

Learn to be a listener- To really create long lasting relationships you need to be a good listener. You see often when your partner isn't heard he or she starts feeling neglected and this is where the relationship truly suffers. Therefore it is extremely important to be a good listener at times and keep the opinions of your partner in mind.

Positivity is the key- Every person wants to be and remain positive. How would you like to be stuck with someone who is negative all the time and is complaining about one thing or the other all the time? This is the reason why you need to maintain a positive attitude throughout and avoid negativity at all costs.

Get rid of all insecure feelings- Insecurity is often the reason why most breakups and poor relationships. You see if you are insecure about yourself you will start acting possessive and would emotionally push your partner away. The best possible way to keep others happy in our company is to be comfortable with ourselves first.

What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but men absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover some of the most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know- 9 Most Shocking Secrets Women don't want men to know

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pushpa_Pal_Singh

Passion & Purpose - Wisdom for Women

By Lorraine Platt

Many women long to connect deeply with a partner but have been unable to sustain a fulfilling relationship. They may be successful in other areas, but creating a lasting partnership remains elusive. What is it that keeps women from having what they really want?

There are many factors, as individual as the women themselves, but there is a common thread. The biggest obstacle to having intimacy with a partner is the unresolved hurt and betrayal of childhood wounding and the negative relational experiences that follow. Your relationship templates are created by your relationships with your primary caregivers. You may have left your parent's home decades ago, but your relational imprints remain until the edges are softened by new positive experiences.

Unfortunately, you may live out the same patterns, never giving yourself the chance to create new positive experiences. You may disempower yourself by believing that someone else is creating your painful experiences. So you shut down or change partners, hoping it will be different in the future or with someone else. But you are the same, and therefore, attract the same kind of man and create the same situation. Understandably, you may give up ever finding a man you can trust enough to help you heal this vicious cycle.

Your desire for connection tells you that you want a partner, but you feel too vulnerable to open to the possibility of being hurt again. The safety and control of being single or emotionally distant from your partner can keep you isolated even when you long to connect. If you have never had a trusting, fulfilling partnership, it is challenging to believe it is even possible.

Having never experienced the appreciation you needed to flourish, you protect the most beautiful, tender parts of yourself. With a half-open heart, you attract unavailable men who match your own ambivalence about being fully present. This reaffirms the belief that there aren't any "good" men out there, so you hold back even more. This absence of trust and openness creates more of the same. And so on... How can this self-destructive cycle be broken?

It requires faith and many baby steps to slowly build a solid foundation of trust. You can start by being willing to meet and get close to available men in the safest way possible - friendship. Perhaps spending time with a male friend or mentor you can trust will open up the door to eventually trusting a partner. You can start to have the experience of a man showing up for you in a meaningful way without being sexual. You can establish a friendship with a man who is honest, keeps his word, shows up on time and consistently invests himself in the relationship. This is an easier way to build trust and feel cared for without the intense feelings that can cause confusion in a romance. Perhaps it is a mentor who plays the role of a healing father figure who shows up in ways your father was unable to. Maybe you have a friend with a great husband and she can share her positive experiences with you and how she created such a great partnership.

There are conscious available men with strength and integrity and you attract them when you are available to yourself first. This means examining how you have closed your heart to protect yourself. It means giving yourself the love, attention, and validation you want from a partner and knowing you are complete. When your life is full, people love you, and there is no need for desperation, you become ready to invite a conscious loving man into your life. Be clear with yourself that no one else is allowed. If you're willing to settle, that's what you will get, a mediocre, immature man who can't show up, for whom you make excuses.

What do you really want? What have you always longed for? What would it take to believe in yourself and give yourself a chance? Now is the opportunity to be your own protective father and your own nurturing mother so you can set boundaries and care for yourself emotionally. Now is the time to give yourself what you've never received from anyone else - complete adoration, acceptance and compassion. Are you ready to really open up to a man and, if not, what would if take for you to become ready?

Many women believe they are ready and available but they are not in their bodies. Intellectually they understand relationships, they may even know what it takes to create a healthy one but they are cut off from their own experiences. Their breath is shallow, their bodies constricted and tense - no movement or flow is allowed because it would open the door to locked up pain that needs attention. And yet, this is the door to freedom - the freedom to experience both pleasure and pain, to be fully alive in your own body. You experience relationships on all levels: physical, spiritual, emotional and intellectual. All of these areas need attention and they need to be aligned with one another. If any area is neglected, it's impossible to be fully present. If you are not fully present, trusting another person can feel very precarious.

To trust someone is to surrender, to give up some measure of control. To give up some measure of control, you need to know it is safe and that you can trust yourself to see clearly and set appropriate boundaries. Seeing clearly requires being in touch with yourself. Setting appropriate boundaries requires feeling worthy enough to take care of yourself. Many women have been deeply disappointed by their fathers and other male role models throughout their lives. After being hurt so many times, they came believe they were unworthy of love. This painful conditioning caused them to repeat the pattern and pursue unavailable men who confirmed their negative beliefs.

What makes it possible to open to a healthy man is grieving the unhealthy ones, and letting them go. Experience your past disappointments and let your heart break open. Let your heart break open to a healthy man who wants to be there for you. Be there for yourself no matter how you feel and stop pretending that you're fine. Let down your guard and heal through the love of an accepting other who wants to know you completely. Stop giving yourself away in order to get love; there's nothing to earn or work for. Love itself will heal and expand who you are. In the light of love's healing, you will radiate beyond your pain and conditioning to be even more magnificent.

Staying connected to yourself and centered in a relationship is like a meditation - when your mind wanders, you just keep coming back. It's important to take it slow. Be discerning and get feedback from trusted friends or counselors who can see the situation objectively and give you a map for moving forward. You need the empty space of slowing down and tuning in to safely open up to someone. You need the room to feel your body and hear your intuition so you don't repeat the same destructive patterns. If your intuition is drowned out by sexual excitement, fantasies of the future, or fears from the past, then you won't hear or feel your own wisdom.

Decide to make room for a conscious man to enter your sacred space. This requires enormous trust to believe you can have this if you've never had it before. It means deeply valuing yourself and trusting that someone will really see and appreciate you. It means exposing yourself and trusting your own perceptions. It means setting boundaries with anyone who invades your space. It means worshipping yourself as the goddess that you are and attracting a man who will do the same.

The attractive women are the radiant open flowers with life beaming out of them. Smell, taste and feel life as you're moving through your day. Let the playful child and the powerful woman emerge to be seen and appreciated. Realize that a conscious man will be irresistibly drawn to your radiance if you just let it shine through. The men who are not ready for you will run away. You must set your own standards for how you will be treated - because you are wise and powerful, not because you are frightened and in control.

Believe it is possible. Know you are worthy and commit to letting it happen. Take the necessary risks to make yourself available to love. Heal your body and open your heart. Connect with other women who support you and rekindle your passion for life. Meet yourself and take a stand for who you are and what you want - then surrender to the magnificent mystery of how it will manifest. Appreciate what you already have and set your intention to expand it. How could ecstatic love NOT flow through such an open, receptive channel?

Lorraine Platt, LMFT

Lorraine Platt is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who supports women to create their ideal relationship. She draws from a variety of disciplines including breath and body-centered therapies. Her unique approach combines Buddhism, Breathwork, Focusing, and the work of David Deida. In addition to her Women's Groups, Couple and Individual sessions, she facilitates Single's Seminars with her husband Richard.

She can be reached at 415-302-1700 or lorraine@passionpurpose.org

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The One Benefit Of A Long Distance Relationship

By Jeff Lim

Did I mention that there is one benefit to having a long distance relationship? It puts money into the pockets of big airline corporations such as Virgin Atlantic, gas stations like Chevron and big phone companies like Verizon. They thank you very much for your business. Unfortunately for couples, there are no benefits for being in a long distance relationship. There is as enormous complexity of factors involved that make it difficult.

Let me tell you about the story of John and Jane. John lives in Los Angeles and Jane lives in New York. They both met at a party when Jane was in town on a business trip. The first problem that the two have is which one is the person that is going to be moving? Is either person willing to sacrifice their job or career for perhaps a lower pay or standard of living? What about leaving friends and family behind? If Jane is not moving to LA and John is not moving to New York, then why are they talking at all?

The second problem is that long distance relationships give a false sense of hope to one another. It may appear to raise each other's interest level, but in reality, it doesn't. It is the anticipation of meeting again that causes the interest to rise, creating a false sense of love. Any time your partner calls, you jump at the chance to talk. You never put her on hold or tell her that you're too busy with something else right now. Everything in your life gets put on hold to give her all of your attention.

The third problem that you have is that you can't bond if you're not around. There is a saying that "actions speak louder than words." You develop trust and comfort with that person when you are spending time together doing things. It allows you to see their personality, how the person reacts and how the person treats you. You can only judge a person's interest through their actions and body language which you obviously can't see in a LDR. Romance and love is by and large non-verbal, from the way you look at each other to the simple hugs given at the right moment when you need them. So what is the point of seeing each other every 3 or 6 months?

Problem number four is trying to make up for the distance by talking on the phone way too much. How does talking four or five times on a daily basis allow a relationship to build? Would you believe someone that is thousands of miles away who kept saying "I love you"! It's all talk and a phone call is definitely a poor substitute for a hug.

How about the 50 emails you send her everyday or the hours you spend instant messaging? What good does that do to building the relationship? But at the end, what do you really find out about that person? Did you go to their house? Did you see how she treats their parents or siblings? Maybe you did go to their place for a weekend. But yeah, you could have gone on a good day where she didn't treat her parents the way she usually does. Since you never see each other in normal day to day life, you lack the true knowledge of the other person and that is where the big problem lies.

The fifth problem is that it is a waste of money. Depending on where you are flying to and from, you can be spending thousands of dollars per year to see each other (and the false hope also). You may be going over your minutes and end up racking up $400 dollars per month phone bills. What about buying phone cards for international calls on a monthly basis? You may end up spending hundreds of dollars per year purchasing them. All this wasted money can be spent on building a relationship with someone who is close by.

Finally, It is a waste of time waiting for someone that is thousands of miles away. The fact is that no relationship, near of far, is 100% guaranteed. But the mere attempt at a long distance relationship increases the odds close to 100% that it is NOT going to work.

So what makes you think that your long distance love is going to be a hermit once he/she has committed to you? Most likely they won't be. They still have to go to work, go shopping, stop by the bank and go to the gym. Thus, they will be meeting others too, increasing the likelihood that they will meet someone that is better than you. If you are not there, then they have to fill that void with someone else. It's just the basic human need to be with others.

For John and Jane, their expectations of each other are skyrocketing even though they haven't seen each other in months. However, when they do get together as an exclusive couple, they would just end up at the start because they are really strangers to each other. The phone company AT&T almost had it right. Reach out but this time, don't touch someone.

Jeff is passionate about personal development topics and helping others find their true calling. More articles can be found at http://handylifeadvice.com

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Live Together Successfully

By Bradlley Mckoy

Every relationship has its milestones - the first date, the first kiss, meeting the parents, and, of course, moving in together. The latter can be potentially overwhelming for those who have never lived with a partner before and have gotten so used to living independently, the way most singles are. The transition is particularly more difficult for men rather than women. If you're a woman about to go on the adventure of moving in with a man for the first time, you're in for a wild ride.

What To Expect

Just because a man suggested or agreed that you move in together doesn't mean that he's particularly happy or even sure about it. Man like being men, and though he might love you enough to want to share a life with you, there are still some things that he can't let go. Indeed, expect your man to have second thoughts and be quite difficult at some point. This is but natural.

What To Do

In order to make the transition of living together as smooth as possible for both you and your man, talk it over before you take the plunge. He might not be very keen to do so, but it's important that you have 'The Talk' so insist on it. Don't nag, however, or you'll find your man running the other way.

When you do have 'The Talk' listen to your man's expectations and make him listen to yours. Naturally, you will come across a few things that won't be acceptable to the other. In this case, you need to compromise. For example, your man might like to go out with his buddies on Wednesday nights for 'guy stuff'. Make it crystal clear that you won't tolerate cheating of any sort - or any wild behavior, for that matter. You might not be able to get him to follow a curfew, but you could agree on him calling you if he'll be late. Similarly, if your man doesn't like you spending hours on the computer every night, you can compromise to considerably cut down your Internet usage.

You have to make sure, however, that in the effort to compromise, you don't end up compromising yourself, your feelings, and your beliefs. This can be achieved with constant communication, transparency, and honesty - the very things that make a relationship work successfully.

What To Give

When moving in together, both parties need to be able to contribute something to make the relationship even more enjoyable and to make your life together as comfortable as possible. A contribution could be anything, really, as long as it's beneficial to both of you.

You can contribute household essentials such as furniture and decorations. Just make sure that it fits both of your tastes. You can divide chores equally among yourselves so no one feels taken advantage of. You can contribute to pay bills and other responsibilities.

Most of all, when moving in together, the best contributions you could give to each other are love, companionship, and loyalty. All these would make your life together as blissful as can be imagined.

Moving in with your man? Consider personalized gifts for men like Howard Miller clocks and cigar humidors to make your life together as enjoyable as possible. Visit ExecutiveGiftShoppe.com today.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bradlley_Mckoy

Send Flowers To Show Them You Care

By Howard Brule

Sending flowers for different occasions is a wonderful way to express your feelings. You can send more formal arrangements for business associates or something more intimate to friends. Deciding to send flowers is the perfect way to say that you are thinking of someone and want to wish them happiness.

Sending flowers to your romantic interest is a great way to spark a new relationship. Your love interest will think you are very special for thinking of them. You can get an idea of the flowers that your love likes, or if there are any allergies, by seeking the advice of family and friends. Continue to send flowers as the relationship develops.

Many flowers have carried traditional meanings for centuries. Many people choose flowers based on the messages that they intend to send. Famously, red roses are a way to say "I love you." One red rose can send a message more effectively than a huge array of different flowers. Pink roses send the message that "I like you," if you're not yet willing to commit to red roses.

Flowers are appropriate to give to a performer or dancer after a musical or show, especially if the performer is a family member. Flowers will show that you enjoyed the performance and appreciate the effort. Sporting events are also a time to show your appreciation with flowers. Applause is fantastic but flowers will represent a longer lasting appreciation.

Meaningful life events are a wonderful time to send flowers. Birthdays are always a good choice and you can even send the number of flowers equal to the age of the person receiving the flowers. Anniversaries are also a good time to send flowers. Receiving the same type of flowers that your spouse sent to you for the very first time is so romantic! Another great time for sending flowers is for the birth of a child or a grandchild.

Sadder times also are a good time to express your sympathy and send flowers to offer cheer and comfort. When there is a death, flowers or a live plant celebrate life and respect those who have gone. For a person who is ill, flowers show that someone is thinking of you and pulling for your recovery. A great time to send them is after the funeral or after a person has been home from the hospital for awhile, after most of the floral gifts have ceased.

There are many other special occasions that are made brighter with the gift of flowers, such as graduations, a new home or a new job. Another great occasion is a personal visit when you bring flowers as part of your visit. In winter, when there are few flowers around, a floral offering can make any day a special one.

Locate florists across the U.S. or across town. Flower delivery by florists in thousands of towns. Take advantage of same day service. Online promotion

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Some Useful Tips You Can Use To Help You Find Mr / Ms Right

By Marvin Perry

Are you having a hard time finding a compatible person for a relationship? Are you unhappy because you have had little or no success. If yes, it may be time to take a different approach to dating.

If you have been consistently going to certain clubs / bars to meet people you probably know most of the people who go to these places. You need to find ways to expand your social circle.

You need to develop a plan which involves having a budget for your time and money. As you prepare yourself to commit to some new activities in your free time you should focus on activities you really enjoy doing, or activities you have always wanted to try.

Maybe you have always wanted to try kick-boxing, tennis, golf, or some other athletic activity. But you have never had anyone to do these activities with you, so you may not be interested in doing them alone.

You should make a list of specific activities which you have always wanted to try. Then you should start gathering information about local resources which will enable you to pursue those activities.

You can start by searching the internet, do a google search for local singles activities in, followed by the name of your city. For example local singles activities in New York City, you will have millions of choices to choose from. You can also search your local magazines and news papers for activities that take place at your local community centers.

You should make a list of local places which are available to you. Then you should find out about everything that is offered at these facilities. This can be a long list because there are many single people who are looking for new and exciting activities to participate in while having the ability to socialize with lots of local singles.

After you have decided which activities you would like to participate in you should check you schedule and your budget. The greatest benefit of taking part in these types of activities is that you are given the ability to meet singles who enjoy participating in the same types of activities that you do. This is a good basis for a wonderful relationship, because many couples today have absolutely nothing in common.

Marvin Perry is the founder of Athletic-Dating.com, Marvin is an avid athlete and he has always had a passion for physical fitness. It was Marvin's passion for physical fitness which motivated him to create the web site. http://athletic-dating.com/usa/new_york/new_york_online_dating.html

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Gifts for New Boyfriend Idea?

By Brian Connors

There just might be a guy in your life that you would like to spend more time alone with. You may also be thinking of a gift to get him to let him know that he is of special interest to you. Want to know a gifts for new boyfriend idea that can accomplish both objectives in a very entertaining way? The strategy is getting him a Movies Gift Basket. Let me explain.

One of the traditional ways of socializing with the opposite sex has been to spend time together watching a movie. These events typically occurred at a theater in which there was no privacy. You also had to possibly put up with annoyances regarding others in attendance who lacked proper etiquette. You were together but this situation had its drawbacks regarding being secluded from the attention of others.

This is when a Movie Gift Basket is needed. This strategic idea is packed with everything that makes a date together enjoyable. These treasures can contain movie theater treats such as popcorn, cookies, Cracker Jacks, peanuts, candy and even classic soda pop. The containers that hold everything can also be a pleasant surprise to the recipient as well. But what makes this gifts for new boyfriend idea so extra special?

The Movie Gift Basket can also include a $10 or $15 Blockbuster Gift Card that would hint of your wish to enjoy a film with him without the public invited. You could make a date to watch it together at your place or his without the distraction of strangers within a comfy environment. You would be able to enjoy both the movie and the sweet snacks together away from the stress and intrusion of unwanted crowds. It’s a scenario that may be a way for you to get to know his true self and personality as well.

So there you go. Take the advice of aGiftBasketParadise.com and make your move to get a relationship going in the right direction and enjoy a movie at the same time.

Brian is the owner of Gift Basket Paradise and wants to share a gifts for new boyfriend idea that may be what you are looking for. He invites you to visit his website at http://www.agiftbasketparadise.com/movie_gift_baskets.html for 4 very entertaining ideas to consider.

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Making the Most of the Dating Game - How to Stay Fresh Out There

By Megan Hazel

Why is it, when it comes to dating, men always seem to be winning the game? And yes, make no mistake, it is a game. So why can't women play right along with men? They can, as long as they don't let their female tendency to over-think get in the way!

Women can play as well as men, but they may have to play by the men's rules since they were the creators of the game. In other words, play the game right back at them! Have fun with the players! Why wait for a guy you are interested in to call you or not call you? Ask him for his number at the bar where you met him, and don't wait for him to ask for yours. In fact, don't even let him have yours, just ask him for his. Use it if you want to, but feel free and completely within your right to toss it on your nightstand and let it sit there for a few days too. If you do end up having a great conversation with a guy at the bar or at a party or other social event, don't feel the need to hang on his every word until he gets bored and decides to move on, only to come back to you at the end of the night to see if you'll leave with him. Do your own leaving!

Ok, so you're not the type to play these games and find then rather distasteful. Let's say you are ready, willing and able to jump headfirst into dating with no games whatsoever. Why, then, haven't you found the man of your dreams? You are attractive, witty, you have a great job and you are single. Perhaps you need to take a good look at your motives and re-think what's really important to you. Chances are you have been dating for longer than you would like to admit, and it may just be a matter of looking at your situation with fresh eyes. One thing to remember is not to sweat the small stuff. If you hate his shirt, who cares? So many women get hung up on trivial things like this. What if his ex-girlfriend told him it was the hottest shirt she has ever seen and you just happen to have a different opinion? For all you know, you could be wearing something that reminds him of his mother and you spent two hours getting as hot as you could get tonight preparing for your date. Even if he ends up truly being a bad dresser, this is something that can change over time or perhaps you can even learn to ignore it. There are more important things, which should come to light when you re-think why you are dating in the first place.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is another dating trap into which women fall and what I call the "He's The One" syndrome. Some women become so desperate for love that they convince themselves after very little time that the present guy of the moment is their One True Love. By romanticizing every little thing and making him into a larger-than-life character instead of recognizing his humanity, you do yourself a disservice. First, you fail to see this man for who he really is. This is a problem because in a few short months, when even more of his traits come to light, you may want to walk away from an otherwise great relationship because you have put him on a pedestal without his asking for it. Second, by making more of the relationship than it is too early, you may scare him away. Yes, men still do get scared. Even if he is very excited about the prospect of dating you, he is likely not ready for marriage after a month and neither should you be. In taking your time, hard as it may be, you will learn more and more about him. This is, in fact, the third reason to not fall prey to "He's The One" syndrome. Once you learn more about him, you may discover aspects that you truly dislike and this will help you to decide what you really do want in a man and be helpful later on in life when the next guy comes along. To the contrary, you may learn more about your current date and find new things to cherish all the time. By taking it slowly, you may discover the little nuances of his personality that you have missed if you had been rushing it and always trying to get to the 'next level' so to speak.

Men may think they have the market wrapped up when it comes to dating know-how, but there is no reason to perpetuate this myth. Women have just as much know how and should start to use it!

Megan Hazel is a freelance writer who writes about relationship advice and dating topics, similar to what consumers read in Women's Day

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It Is Better To Let Your Love Be Blind

By Jacob Gan

"Is love really blind?" I wonder. Having been happily married (and some of the times not so happily) for 30 years, I cannot help but ask myself more frequently whether my love is blind. Unsurprisingly to myself, the answer seems to be affirmative. How else would I have been able to go through the various difficult times in our relationship? Logic would dictate that we would have broken up by now. The next question I have been asking is whether it had been good that my love is blind.

I found an interesting section in the book "An Introduction to Positive Psychology" by WC Compton with the title "Is Love Really Blind?". What you will find in the rest of the article is based on what Compton wrote together with my thoughts.

In our minds, very often, we have pictures of our partners that are inaccurate. We have what is called "positive romantic illusions" about our partners. These illusions explain why we are oblivious to the faults of our partners and so enamoured of them.

While it is true that these illusions tend to fade with time, it is also true they can also strengthen with times, albeit with different characteristics.

In the former, when marital problems surface, and if the illusions disappear completely, it might lead to eventual marital breakup. Fortunately, most of the times, the illusions might weaken but do not disappear completely. The remnant illusions might help to weather the storms in the relationships.

In the latter case, the marriage might stay strong even though there may be many situations and incidents that might wreck a weaker relationship. We might even increase our willingness to accept many apparent faults and mistakes, and even idiosyncrasies, of our partners. Let us examine why this happens.

It has been found that couples who idealized their partner’s attributes, or had exaggerated beliefs about their control over the relationship, or were overly optimistic about the future of their relationship, were happier. Their relationships were also more stable and lasted longer.

These observations lead me to draw the following inferences/conclusions:

It is through the positive romantic illusions about our partners that explain why we choose our partners and not someone else. The positive romantic illusions about our partner help us to stick to our partner even during bad times and under otherwise unfavourable conditions. We might continue to deliberately keep a biased positive view of our partner so as to maintain, or even enhance, the relationship. There is mutual enhancement of the positive romantic illusions that partners have for each other. People are more committed to spouses who see them in positive light.

However, should the stress present in the couple’s life lead to strains in the relationship, the positive romantic illusions might begin to fall apart, leading each partner to realize they have been fooling themselves about the qualities of their partners. Without the presence of the positive romantic illusions, the relationship can then deteriorate very rapidly.

Overall then, it is good for couples to maintain the positive romantic illusions they have. This way, they will remain ‘in love’ and continue to experience all the joys of romantic love.

Reference: succezz.com, jacobgan.com, jacoblearning.com

Jacob Gan PhD (Michigan) has more than 20 years of teaching experience in a university and 8 years of business/industrial experience after graduation. He writes for succezz.com, JacobGan.com, JacobEducation.com, DemystifyCancer.com, understanding-orchids.com, motivate2success.com and JacobLearning.com. He hosts Jacob.TheeLearningcentre.com, an elearning portal

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50th Wedding Anniversary Planning

By Suz Daykin

50th wedding anniversary planning can be a bit stressful! 50 years of making friends and family can mean that there would be lots of people to invite and the expectation of a great party as well as a big mixture of ages can add to the pressure. Not that I am trying to put you off! If you plan your anniversary party then there will be no need to panic.

You first need to think about the type of party that your golden couple would enjoy. My aunt and uncle had a big party, organised as a wedding, complete with dancing but my grandparents enjoyed a family meal at one of their favourite restaurants. Which would they enjoy?

When you have worked out if you are inviting everyone or just family you will have a rough idea of numbers. You will now need to find the venue! Look at local hotels and function facilities, get menu samples, bar prices and if not included, the room hire. Also ask around, a local community hall could be just what you are looking for in space and also facilities. A number of community centres have their own kitchen and just ask that you clear up afterwards. This could save you a fortune. If the couple are members of a local social club or golf club they may have membership discounts to hire the room, plus this is a venue known to them and the service would be great, you may even get a few extras.

When you are looking around any of the possible venues think about the size of the room - is everyone going to be seated at tables. The location - is it easy to find for your guests that are travelling, is there overnight accommodation if needed? And the decor - would you need to spend lots to make the room look nice?

When you have all the information, the next stage in your 50th wedding anniversary planning is to collate all of the facts; prices, sizes, ease, minimum numbers etc. We find the best way to do this is to have all of the information on a spreadsheet so that you can compare apples with apples. When you have made your decision you will need pay a deposit to the venue to secure the date, and make sure you read the contract!

Now that the venue is booked you will need to organise invitations and possibly accommodation. It would be a good idea to contact local hotels for prices so that you could include a list of possible places that your guests could stay in the invitation. Don't get involved in booking accommodation, let your guests do that otherwise you may find that this will take up most of your time. Get your guests to reply with any special dietary requirements

Discuss catering with the venue or with the caterer when you have your replies so that they have all the details of children's meals or special needs. You will need to confirm numbers a couple of weeks before the party - check with your venue as to what is best.

Organise any decor - it could be flowers, balloons, candles and either book with the decor company or get your volunteers ready! You may want to get into the venue the night before to get everything in place. Make sure your venue knows this as they may have another function on.

If you want to have a special 50th anniversary cake then you will need to book this with a baker in advance, some people have replicas of their wedding cake or the wedding cake they always wanted, others will have fun cakes that show off their personality.

Venue booked, invitations sent and received back, numbers confirmed, decorations done, cake ready at bakers, all that is left is to have a great 50th anniversary party!

Suz Daykin is the Editor of Anniversary Gifts By Year, the complete guide for anniversary gift ideas and how to organise great anniversary parties.

More 50th Anniversary Ideas Here

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Cross-Cultural Personal Relationships

By Duane Beadle

Marrying even within your own culture can be a challenging experience. Once you get past the wedding day and the romance you are left with the everyday task of loving somebody who is not like you. Differences can be a source of inspiration or conflict. But what are the challenges of marry into another culture?

A desire to understand another’s culture will not prevent conflict. You have your own cultural beliefs that you bring to a relationship and you will in the first instance use that framework to judge a person or situation. However it is important to gather as much information about your partner’s culture as you can. For example their rituals, their religious beliefs, the role of extended family in your partner’s life and how much autonomy does your partner have in making decisions for their life. People in the West have a great deal of independence from their extended families. Those in the East value close family relationships. This will impact on your relationship.

Do not assume your partner is going to change with gentle persuasion from you. This is probably a mistake people make generally in relationships. People need to be accepted for themselves and if you need to change somebody to ensure you can have a relationship with them, it begs the question why choose the person in the first place. That’s not to say that change will not occur as you spend more time getting to know someone and what they want in the relationship. Trying to change someone’s cultural tendencies will create more unnecessary conflict.

There are many situations that arise in life that call for us to draw on ‘common-sense’ ways to deal with them. That common-sense is made up of our past experience, our habits, our value systems and our taken for granted ways of how to react to things that happen in our life even small things. Remember you and your partner do not possess the same common-sense view of the world. In some situations like how to eat food correctly or what to do in a temple, choosing the ‘when in Rome’ approach can save a lot of unnecessary conflict. But there are some things that are not so easy to solve by using this approach especially if they call into question fundamental values and beliefs. Again just because you choose to live in your partner’s country does not mean you have to compromise who you are.

The answer to all of the above conundrums and potential areas of conflict is to communicate. Be prepared to talk about issues in your relationship particularly in the `getting to know you stage`. Then make a commitment to communicate throughout your relationship. Never make assumptions, particularly in a cross-cultural relationship.

Discuss issues like how much free time is normal in a relationship. Discuss your finances and whether both of you are going to work. How will you raise children? Where are you going to live and will there be the enough job opportunities for whoever is going to work. Communication is the secret to avoiding unnecessary conflict and to resolving conflict should it arise. Some cultures are more adept at direct communication than others. Nevertheless without some degree of commitment to discussing issues being made, your chances of a successful relationship become less and less.

One practical way a couple can find out if they want to enter into a cross-cultural marriage is for either partner to seek a fiancée visa. A period of time in your partner’s country will allow you the space to really get to know your partner and their culture and will provide sufficient information for you to choose whether you want to marry your partner. Bringing your partner from the Philippines on a fiancée visa to the USA? Check out the relevant websites for information on the completion of the K1 visa application form.

Duane J. Beadle is an expert on Fiancée Visas. For more information on K1 fiancée visa process for the Philippines and K1 visa preparation, please visit Filipina Fiancée Visa com: "Bringing Your Bride to Your Side!"

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